Counseling

How to Become More Wholehearted

In Steps One through Four of this newsletter series, I’ve shared the benefits of focusing on and befriending a hurting part of your soul, inviting Jesus to draw near it, and unburdening it. In this final step of the Five Steps of Taking a You-Turn, we’ll explore how to integrate a once-troubled part into your […]

How to Befriend a Part of Yourself You Don’t Like

In my last newsletter, we explored Step One of Taking a You-Turn . . . focus on a thought or feeling that needs your attention. Now, let me ask you: When you give a challenging part of yourself your close attention, how do you feel toward it? Do you notice that you don’t like it? […]

Are Parts of Your Soul Stuck in the Past?

My client, Scott*, was confused about his love life. Debra, whom he’d met at church, seemed to have all the qualities Scott had been praying for in a wife. As the couple’s relationship became more serious, though, Scott noticed a troubling thought. “I feel torn about Debra,” he said, plopping down on my office couch. […]

Reflections on Recent Tragedies

Dear friend, We all were surprised recently when two celebrities took their lives within a few days of each other: Kate Spade, one of the world’s best-dressed women, and Anthony Bourdain, who ate delicious food for a living. How do we make sense of such tragedies? Generally speaking, one way to imagine self-harming tendencies is […]

Help! It Seems Like We’re Speaking Different Languages!

Dear Kim, How do we both get what we want out of our marriage when key terms such as love, care, support, and communication are defined very differently between spouses? It often seems like we’re exchanging with different currencies with differing rates. Many thanks, Speaking Different Languages   Dear Languages, Communication is, at its essence, […]